Weeks removed from spending eight days in the hospital with a horrible case of pneumonia I've had time to reflect. Michelle and I have had deep discussions, we've spoken to our pastor about purpose and laid out all our prayers and worries to God. Michelle has seen every terrible thing ALS has hit me with along the way, and admits I looked the absolute worst in the hospital. Laying on my back day in and day out, coughing incessantly, gasping for air while constantly being filled with medicine and fluids. I felt the end might be near. Suggestions for a trach came up as the only way to heal me, however this goes against my wishes so Michelle and I found ourselves signing off on hospice and heading home. All things pointed to a regression or even death. At home, my body struggled to fight off the virus. I used all the strength I had to kick the pneumonia and clear my lungs. I now have no independence. I lost all strength in my hands leaving me unable to move my wheelchair. I struggled with what to do with my life and my purpose. God made it clear to me there is still significant purpose to my life, regardless of ALS. He helped me restore my kick-assness.
I decided to approach everyday like an old retired dude. I intentionally leave tasks on the to-do list, I read reviews on internet purchases before making decisions, I have bird feeders where I keep tabs on birds, and watch The Amazing Race. More importantly and seriously I find purpose in being a teacher. My teaching subject has changed over the years, as I now find my content written in red.
One thing I know is ALS can never take my ability to love. I make it a point to reach out to those around me, to keep relationships strong. Intentionally reaching out to those in our lives to give love can make a major impact. It is another purpose for life.
Pneumonia didn't take me out. God's Grace healed me. My life has purpose. I would be selfish not to give the days I do have left all I've got. Today it might be a Facebook message to a fellow person with ALS, tomorrow morning a prayer for a friend I know who is struggling, advocating for the next ALS fundraiser, or playing with my nephews. Let love in and give love back. If you're reading this you definitely have purpose, you're still here on Earth, seek that Grace and embrace it.
I decided to approach everyday like an old retired dude. I intentionally leave tasks on the to-do list, I read reviews on internet purchases before making decisions, I have bird feeders where I keep tabs on birds, and watch The Amazing Race. More importantly and seriously I find purpose in being a teacher. My teaching subject has changed over the years, as I now find my content written in red.
One thing I know is ALS can never take my ability to love. I make it a point to reach out to those around me, to keep relationships strong. Intentionally reaching out to those in our lives to give love can make a major impact. It is another purpose for life.
Pneumonia didn't take me out. God's Grace healed me. My life has purpose. I would be selfish not to give the days I do have left all I've got. Today it might be a Facebook message to a fellow person with ALS, tomorrow morning a prayer for a friend I know who is struggling, advocating for the next ALS fundraiser, or playing with my nephews. Let love in and give love back. If you're reading this you definitely have purpose, you're still here on Earth, seek that Grace and embrace it.
AMEN, I to have been seeking God's purpose for my life, and had an awesome talk with a dear friend, on this subject. She and I both have gone through somethings that shook us, We came to the conclusion to love as God loves us, and to forgive even when there is no apology coming. Your thoughts and words here are so apperciated, and yes you are teaching us all a great lesson.
ReplyDeleteWow. You really are truly inspiring.
ReplyDeleteThanks for continuing to teach! Peace to you and Michelle.
ReplyDeleteEach day is an unknown to be discovered. Purpose... some days you see and feel it clearly, and other days are a struggle. But God is love, so to love is to be with God, and with God on your side, there's always purpose and hope. I have gained so much from watching strong, prayer warriors like you, who in spite of diversity, show us through example how we can all make a difference to each other in this world. An act of kindness, a gesture of love, an inspiring word... has a rippling effect in the fight of good or evil and right over wrong. In the end, you will get your just reward. Each of our days are numbered. It's all about living well and being ready to go home and being thankful for the blessings we have been given, and even being afraid, yet trusting.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kris! I needed this.
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