Monday, July 10, 2017


     Yesterday was a, "fuck you," day. I experienced bone crushing and emotional pain, pushed to the precipice where one more tear would have pushed me into the dark abyss, but then my wheels spun in reverse and I was surrounded with smiles and my blood pressure lowered. Another day, weeks back, we were shopping for home pieces for our remodeled bedroom at Bed, Bath and Beyond, it takes a pro for the record to drive through there and not break shit. We came across an aisle with a huge mirror. I was at first distracted by all my new stickers, but then I noticed the skeleton body that was sitting where a pudgy man used to dwell. Every ounce of salty water and snot poured from my face like Niagara Falls. Where'd I fucking go? Am I going to disappear? I'm a hot mess in a damn B.B.B.
       Don't get me wrong, I've had a damn good summer so far. Gronk's Grace held an incredible car show, raised hella bank and put a stamp on the community. We have also made great improvements to our home and my relationship with Michelle has become even stronger after dealing with concerning medical news for her. Long story short, don't fuck with the Grahnke's. I've had to pass on concerts, beer due to medications, loud events are torture because no one can hear me, it's been a summer of transitions and that's been incredibly draining.
     ALS killed my good friend Matt a few months back. Matt and I would text a lot. ALS took Matt's voice first. He gave me tips for handling mouth stuff I gave him arms and legs tips. We also talked shit about the Cubs and Sox, how hot our wives are and the best drug concoctions, then one morning he was gone. I cried, but in this fight against ALS when you lose someone it really feels like you lost a soldier on foreign soil and now they get to go home and I know Matt's home is Heaven, thus my tears were short lived.
     Lately one could argue that I've hit a rough patch, after all, the saying is every time you see someone with ALS, you are seeing them on their worst day because there isn't a cure for ALS. I'm calling bullshit dude. There have been days far into this experience where life has far exceeded my expectations for love and connection with Christ Jesus. His glory and connection to you doesn't come through things. "I lost 10lbs, check out my Lexus, nothing but organic for dinner," #blessed. Right on, those things are awesome, but you were #blessed long before that. The Holy Spirit is with me to ease physical and emotional pain, pat me on the back, guide my social media, basically be a spiritual wingman. Why wouldn't you want one of those?