Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Happy Birthday

   Beep, beep, beep, it's 4:58 in the morning. Time to wake up the dog, feed him and let him out. Make Kris his breakfast and remember to make the pieces of the muffin small enough that he can eat them without his hands and that his straw is bent so that he can reach it without help. You have 17 minutes before Kris needs to be up so enjoy your sanity on the exercise bike. Scroll Facebook, check Timehop and start a podcast. 
     Shake Kris awake from his coma, cross his arms and legs so you can roll him on his side. Then lay his netting behind him, roll him back onto the net and pull the auto-bed lift into place. Strap him in, all eight straps and press the lift button. Make sure not to crush his junk, he hates that. Lower him into his chair and then unhook all eight of his straps. Grab his Old Spice, lift one arm at a time and rub it in. After he changes his mind multiple times, help him put on his shirt. 

Feel for Chelle yet? We ain't even at the bathroom yet! 

     Put toothpaste on his brush, brush his teeth, he'll complain you're being too rough, then scrub his face. He might complain then too. Once he's in place, pick him up and put him on the toilet. While he's taking a number 2 go take a shower. Brush your teeth, dry your hair, start your makeup and then go help him clean up and get off the toilet. Sounds fun right? Help Kris put his pants on, making sure his fly is lined up so he can independently pee later. Put on his shoes. Continue getting ready for work, Kris will eat his breakfast. We forgot his coffee, he's an asshole without it so quickly go make it.  
     Help Kris put his coat on, give him his lunch you made last night, and start the car for him. Fill Wrigley's Kong with peanut butter before you join Kris in the car. 
     This is 5 days every week, no matter what. Michelle does this graceously, tirelessly, for me. This amazing woman saves me day in and day out. She loves me unconditionally, kisses and hugs me and looks smoking hot everyday. The Grace I see and receive from her is never ending. I love you Michelle. 


  1. She's a great woman. And you are a great man. Thanks and please keep writing.

  2. Amazing. Best thing I've read all day.

  3. Gronks....so glad I have found this blog..keep writing... it's so real to many who are fighting this...may I share with some other people with ALS? Hope to meet you soon!!

    1. Who is this? I hope to meet you too. Feel free to share this with your friends and family to spread awareness for all ALS
      patients and caretakers.

  4. I heard your story in church this morning and was so very moved by it. Have you researched any "natural" treatments? I am a nurse and know first hand that most "medicines" are a chemical form of something natural - so that they can patent it. Have you heard of the book "Eat To Live" by Joel Fuhrman? I highly recommend it - along with a big dose of Vit B 12 (take a B complex with it so that you don't deplete your B vitamins) as that helps nerves heal. Praying for the 2 of you