Shake Kris awake from his coma, cross his arms and legs so you can roll him on his side. Then lay his netting behind him, roll him back onto the net and pull the auto-bed lift into place. Strap him in, all eight straps and press the lift button. Make sure not to crush his junk, he hates that. Lower him into his chair and then unhook all eight of his straps. Grab his Old Spice, lift one arm at a time and rub it in. After he changes his mind multiple times, help him put on his shirt.
Feel for Chelle yet? We ain't even at the bathroom yet!
Put toothpaste on his brush, brush his teeth, he'll complain you're being too rough, then scrub his face. He might complain then too. Once he's in place, pick him up and put him on the toilet. While he's taking a number 2 go take a shower. Brush your teeth, dry your hair, start your makeup and then go help him clean up and get off the toilet. Sounds fun right? Help Kris put his pants on, making sure his fly is lined up so he can independently pee later. Put on his shoes. Continue getting ready for work, Kris will eat his breakfast. We forgot his coffee, he's an asshole without it so quickly go make it.
Help Kris put his coat on, give him his lunch you made last night, and start the car for him. Fill Wrigley's Kong with peanut butter before you join Kris in the car.
This is 5 days every week, no matter what. Michelle does this graceously, tirelessly, for me. This amazing woman saves me day in and day out. She loves me unconditionally, kisses and hugs me and looks smoking hot everyday. The Grace I see and receive from her is never ending. I love you Michelle.