Earlier this week my Grandma Grahnke passed away after being ill off and on again for the last few years. She lost her husband a few years back and her son, my dad in 2006. Grandma was always kind, I guess all grandmas are, she loved us grandkids so much and loved talking to us on the phone and in person. She always remembered what we spoke about the previous time and would follow up, your needs always came before hers.
Now that she's passed and I reflect about all these conversations we had over the years I've realized I don't know as much about her as I should. Specifically I don't know what she believed in her heart about what comes after our time on earth. I probably think about what comes next more than others do having ALS, and I'm glad I know what comes next and that's heaven. I talk about finding the Grace in the day to day and I can do this thanks to my faith in God. "For it is by Grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God."-Ephesians 2:8. When I think about where Grandma is now I picture her with my grandpa and dad together in heaven once more, but like I mentioned, I wish I knew for sure that's where she believed she would end up.
Unless a miracle cure happens soon I know for a fact that I will leave this earth sooner than I expected. That sucks but I've made peace with it. What I haven't made peace with is the idea that some of my closest friends and family may not join me when I'm finally rid of this bullshit disease.
I'm not writing this blog to cast stones or judge anyone, but I am taking the time to be selfish. Selfish because I don't want you crying at a gravesite thinking of how much you miss me when I go. I want you to pause and think about the good times we have ahead, the good times God's Grace can allow us, the good times we'll share in heaven.