Living with a terminal illness like ALS is a mind fuck. I drive around day to day in my wheelchair focusing in on small details in the world around me that I never used to even notice and questioning why and how they came to be. When I dwell on that thinking and why I'm focusing in on such "meaningless" things I know that it's because I'm trying to avoid thinking about my immortality and End Day. Those thoughts consume you and makes it almost impossible to be happy, even with the faith I have in God.
ALS brings darkness and dispare if you don't consciously make the choice to invite beauty into your life. You need to focus on the details. For me, I'm blessed because I have Michelle in my life. Her hair down to her toes are stunning and her beauty alone makes me see past my diagnosis. Her smile picks me up when I'm stressed, her laughter and silliness relaxes my nerves, her kisses give me strength. We watched the lunar eclipse together Sunday evening and were taken aback by the power and beauty the moon displayed. I noticed every swirl in the clouds, beams shining from the moon and warmth from Michelle's fingers intertwined with mine, and for the evening I forgot that I had ALS and was consumed by God's beauty. That's Grace.