Thursday, April 13, 2017

Letting Go

       Public Service Announcement: This blog will make you cry, laugh, gag, reflect, and hopefully leave you feeling closer to our Lord Almighty. I've had some rough weeks here and there. I've been trying to figure out medication, how long I should be on my bi-pap, all the while trying to get excited about a liquid diet. This has been tiring as hell. I spent all day Saturday in bed and just wrapped up another all-day shift yesterday. In the midst of this cluster fuck I became extremely constipated and couldn't pee either. Hospice nurses to the rescue! Oh, wait, you have to do what?!? Hell naw I thought in my head but I had to let go and let the pros do their jobs. I needed a suppository and a temporary catheter. Those are two items that go the wrong way on one way streets. A suppository feels like a thumb tac on your booty rim and a catheter felt like a silly straw forging it's way down my golden street. It fucking sucked, I hated it, but it would have been a disaster had I not let go.
     As many of my readers know, I am the oldest sibling in my family, the big brother. I'm six years older than Kurt and four years older than Eliza. Not only am I the Big Brother to Eliza and Kurt I have many younger friends who look to me as their Big Brother. A friend of mine once said that wherever I go I cast nets on those that need help, reel them in and see if there's anything I can do for them. It could be a soccer mom, an elderly dude, a young adult with disabilities, the scary gang banger on the L, or the beautiful damsel in distress. I could talk to anyone and connect with them. Many of these nets I quickly let slip away, but dozens of these nets I kept an eye on over the years and regardless of their age I consider them my younger siblings, or at least someone I have to protect. This large extended family I've built makes it very difficult to be okay with letting go of this world. Not to sound conceeded, but I think about what my little sister will do without me. What will my fantasy football league do? What will my teachers do without my advice?
The answer is they will be fine. 
      People die. We're all going to come to the same fate. Whenever I die, I'm going to be showered with love. I know so many awesome people that I can only imagine what the Celebration of Life will look like. Many folks aren't so lucky. Either they haven't found Christ and accepted Him as his Savior or they don't have have a support system around them and are incredibly lonely. I'm generalizing, but it brings me back to the importance of solidifying that relationship with the Lord. It's easy to stray from His path when things go wrong. Job in the Bible lost everything. His land burned to the ground, his wife and children died, and still he kept his faith. Paul traveled the globe proclaiming God's Grace while he watched his friends be murdered and while he got his ass kicked. 
      "Many are the plans in the mind of man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand."(Proverbs 19:21) I've got plans galore. I've always been the dude to create social plans for our group. Where we're going, making the reservation, making sure everyone has a ride, making sure that asshole won't be there. However, I've retired from the planning game, I've let go. The Lord has a purpose for me, that purpose might be here on Earth in the next few months, or it might be in Heaven. Either way this Big Brother has let go.   

5 comments:

  1. God is on your side. I feel like I know from reading your blogs. I am speechless and full of tears with this last one. You are surrounded by His power. Love and prayers to you and Michelle❤.

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    1. Thank you for your continued reading Laurie! I appreciate you sharing it as well. God bless you!

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  2. As a sign of gratitude for how my husband was saved from ALS, i decided to reach out to those still suffering from this.
    My husband was diagnosed of ALS in 2013 and it was really tough and heartbreaking for me because he was my all and the symptoms were terrible, he always have trouble swallowing , and he always complain of Weakness of the body . we tried various therapies prescribed by our neurologist but none could cure him. I searched for a cure and i saw a testimony by someone who was cured and so many other with similar body problem, and he left the contact of the doctor who had the cure to ALS. I never imagined ALS has a natural cure not until i contacted him and he assured me my husband will be fine. I got the herbal medication he recommended and my husband used it and in one months he was fully okay even up till this moment he is so full of life. ALS has a cure and it is a herbal cure contact the doctor for more info on drwilliams098675@gmail.com on how to get the medication. Thanks for reading my testimony.

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  3. hello viwers My name is pamela Gard from usa, i was diagnosed with Hepatitis B for 2years and i lived in pain with the knowledge that i wasn’t going to ever be well again i contacted so many herbal doctors on this issue and wasted a large sum of money but my condition never got better i was determined to get my life back so one day i saw Mrs Isabella post on how Dr paula saved him from the VIRUS with his medicine i contacted Dr paula we spoke on the issue i told him all that i went through and he told me not to worry that everything will be fine again so he prepared the medicine and send it to me through courier service and told me how to use it,after 14days of usage I went to see the doctor for test ,then the result was negative,am the happiest woman on earth now ,,contact Dr paul on his email address dr.paulamedicina@outlook.com today and get your cure.
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  4. MY HEALTH IS RESTORE
    i am so happy to share this testimony with the world because generally there are so many doubts about the cure of hpv and cancer This is real take it serious, i am so happy that today i can give this testimony to the world and also help in saving life of people who has been condemned for death just as i was ,who will believe that herbs can cure hpv and cancer completely from the body, i never believe that this will work, i have spend a lot of money getting drugs from the hospital to keep me healthy, it got to a time that all i was waiting for is death to come because i was broke and i already have strong outbreaks from the hpv, one day i was going through the internet asking questions online just to know more about the latest development in the medical sector to see if there is still hope then i stumbled on a post about about this great man called Dr. Ehiagwina through a publicly made a testimony on how she was also cured of ALS by this herbal doctor who is well known for his strong ancient herbal practice at first i doubted both the woman and the doctor just as so many that see's this post would doubt because medically it has been proven impossible but later i decided to give him a try so i emailed him I did not believe him that much, I just wanted to give him a try, he replied my mail and Needed some Information about me, then I sent them to him, he prepare herbal medicine and sent it through Courier Service for delivery, he gave my details to the Courier Office. they told me that 3-5 days I will receive the package and after receiving it, i took the medicine as prescribed by him at the end of 13days that the medicine lasted, he told me to go to the hospital for a test, and i went, surprisingly after the test the doctor confirm me hpv negative and cancer disappear i thought it was a joke, i went to other hospitals and was also negative the doctors were speechless and i said it was a miracle, thank you sir for saving my life even if you cannot see this post i shall never stop testifying the impact you made in my life by restoring back my life when i was being stigmatized and even avoided by family and friends , I promise I will always testify of your good works. Dr. Ehiagwina contact: ehiagwinaherbalhome@gmail.com OR call +2348162084504 you can also add him on whatsapp.

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