Hermit No More

     The last few weeks I've felt like a hermit. Besides a trip to Target or the grocery store my life had basically fell into a very predictable routine. Not only was I physically doing the same things over and over, I was letting my anxieties take hold of my emotions and I stopped trusting in those that I should while doubts guided my thinking. I was in a state that I didn't belong, where I was very uncomfortable. I severely slacked off in my relationship with God. I was falling back into a pissed off relationship with Him, one where I fell away from His word. I was expecting an OnDemand God, where He would see me struggling and snap His fingers to get me out of my rut. I thought we had these guidelines in place now. The guidelines being I will continue to praise your name in the face of ALS, with God providing me with lavish  rewards along my journey to keep my faith strong. Seems reasonable right? Maybe if I were selling smoothies, shoes, or something material and I was making a deal with my boss, then yes. However, we're talking about the creator of the universe, God who sent his son to die for all of our sins. Perhaps, even with having ALS, I over stepped my bounds in expecting a God who would make deals with me.
     Our Heavenly Father doesn't work like Instagram or Snap Chat. You won't get that immediate satisfaction and response most of the time. This isn't because He's busy helping others or ignoring you, He's always there next to you to provide comfort and support.  What He's offering you at that very instant may not be what you're looking for at that second, or that day, week, or even month but what we have to remember is that we aren't the ones calling the shots. I didn't have anything to do with creating my own existence, I didn't create the fabric of our glorious Earth. I didn't pave the path that lead me crashing into the love of my life, or the path that lead me to my career, or the paths to my best friend's hearts. I also didn't have any control over the darker paths I've walked. Loved ones dying, my ALS diagnosis, anxiety fits, failures and heartbreak. You may not recognize all the incredible work God has done in your life, the love He's poured over you, the paths He's mapped out for your life, an extensive amount of work goes into YOU. God loves you. Once you recognize all you have is because of Him, you'll realize He's all you need going forward.  

 Much love goes out to Michelle for helping me pivot my focus and get back on the writing horse. Cheers readers!