We have all been anxious at some point in our lives. Did I get into my top-choice school? Will they accept our offer on their home? Are we having a boy or girl, or maybe twins? Is the lump benign? It's human nature to get nervous about things we can not control, we also handle our anxiety in different ways. Exercise for some, meditation for others, Netflix binging, getting hammered, prayers and reflection. I've always been the guy to stand steadfast in the face of anxiety. I took a hippie stance on it, with, "just chill" and "relax" mantras. When that didn't work I usually turned to drinking beer followed by taking my anxiety out on a small objects, like a Kleenex box or toaster.
I kind of was an asshole to those who seriously struggle with anxiety. Anxiety disorders are the biggest mental health disorder category recognized in the U.S. People with anxiety disorders can become incapacitated by the anxiety, at times not being able to get out of bed in the morning. They have addictive tendencies that almost always manifest in a negative way. The anxiety blocks your ability to make rational decisions, hell decisions at all. Anxiety can cause you to worry about unlikely occurrences, for example, getting sideswiped by a semi, leaving you petrified of being in a car. I used to honestly think these people needed to, "man up." Everyone has crap to worry about so they should just relax and distract themselves.
That is until recently when I began waking up in a panic. I would tie my stomach in knots because I would over think what to eat or what not to eat, eventually leading me to losing my appetite, where I would then become anxious again about not eating. Having ALS certainly fucks with your emotions as I've written about many times before. My anxiety overflows at times when I'm around those that I care for. I become anxious thinking what if this is the last time I get to see them? Did I say everything I could? Do they know I love them? This is where God's Grace comes blazing into the room. God's Grace gave me the courage to talk openly about my anxiety which embarrassed me. In facing that fear I found medication that has brought me back to a guy I recognize. Someone not consumed with fear and anxiety, but lifted high by Grace.
I kind of was an asshole to those who seriously struggle with anxiety. Anxiety disorders are the biggest mental health disorder category recognized in the U.S. People with anxiety disorders can become incapacitated by the anxiety, at times not being able to get out of bed in the morning. They have addictive tendencies that almost always manifest in a negative way. The anxiety blocks your ability to make rational decisions, hell decisions at all. Anxiety can cause you to worry about unlikely occurrences, for example, getting sideswiped by a semi, leaving you petrified of being in a car. I used to honestly think these people needed to, "man up." Everyone has crap to worry about so they should just relax and distract themselves.
That is until recently when I began waking up in a panic. I would tie my stomach in knots because I would over think what to eat or what not to eat, eventually leading me to losing my appetite, where I would then become anxious again about not eating. Having ALS certainly fucks with your emotions as I've written about many times before. My anxiety overflows at times when I'm around those that I care for. I become anxious thinking what if this is the last time I get to see them? Did I say everything I could? Do they know I love them? This is where God's Grace comes blazing into the room. God's Grace gave me the courage to talk openly about my anxiety which embarrassed me. In facing that fear I found medication that has brought me back to a guy I recognize. Someone not consumed with fear and anxiety, but lifted high by Grace.
God's Grace isn't limited to just me. If you suffer from anxiety you shouldn't be embarrassed. God is always here to shower you with Grace and there are always people willing to help you feel like the kick-ass you that you are.
